Just who do you think you are?
She stared at her reflection in the mirror, hoping to find a better view of herself. But to no avail.
“Will you stop primping? We need to leave soon.”
She sighed, brushing the hair away and behind her left ear. She was as ready as she could ever be. The car’s engine revved up, jolting her out of her daydream. The next twenty minutes in the car was a blur, as she did nothing but stare out her passenger side window at the world outside. It was as though everything in life was passing her by.
“Nobody likes you! He won’t tell you that, because he knows it would hurt your feelings. But I know the truth. You are stupid…you have the lowest IQ on the planet…I hope I never see you again! I’m going to group!” He stood up, donning his maroon-shaded uniform, and quickly left the room. She sat there still, deeply contemplating the future of her family. The son she so deeply loved did not love her back. At least that was what he said. Who am I? she asked herself once again, as she was escorted to the front of the unit, walking in slow procession to her parked car in the third level garage.
All the way home, the ambient background music stabilized her mood as she zoned out of this world, all the while with her hands wrapped around the steering wheel. I wish someone would tell me who I was. I need to find out who I am. Her foot gunned the gas pedal slightly as she sped past the same spot where she had once gone to church. What’s wrong with me? she asked herself. Why am I so broken?
The door performed its usual trick of appearing unlocked as she turned the bolt and swung it open, entering the house with a vengeance. The dog sat up, and began panting. Unlatching the dog’s crate, she let him out, and sighed a deep breath of relief. Within two minutes of sitting down with a cup of coffee to take a break, her phone rang. It was the hospital.
“We’re calling to let you know he has decided to agree to go into residential. It will be a minimum of thirty days. We will contact you when we know when and where.” The phone abruptly cut off, creating a void of silence over the line, while the phone was still in her hand. They always seem in such a hurry.
She settled in once again, to hear the story she had been waiting to experience. Within a few minutes, she closed her eyes, trying to engage her invisible senses in the tale she was absorbing. Then a booming yet gentle voice began to speak: “You are mine. You’ve always been my child. No matter how far you run away from me, I will find you. Don’t worry about a thing. Everything is evolving just as it should. And I love you more than you could ever imagine.”
Wait, she thought. Who was that talking to me? She heard the voice from inside of her mind. Don’t tell me I’m going mental! Please, God, no toys in my attic.
The voice laughed. “It’s me, Your Creator. Look, I know it’s tough down there. Trust me, I’ve been there. Just hang in there. Nobody ever said life would be easy. But you still have to get through it. There are exits to this highway, but you need to decide how close to Me you want to be. There is a path that brings you very close, but it means your life will seem exceedingly difficult. Stay calm and drive on.”
An audible click sounded in her left ear. I think God just hung up on me. She laughed to herself, as she got up, and prepared to do her writing for the day. Her spirit lightened and her mood perked up, as she playfully went to pet the dog and sit down at her desk.
So the voice in my head is not me? she asked herself.
The voice laughed again. “Who else would it be?”
***