All In

“And you must love the Lord Your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength.”

–Mark 12:30

I have spent most of my God-fearing years in a state of divided loyalty towards Him. Should I submit to and serve my husband? Should I put 100% into caring for and loving my children? Or should I find a way to meld the two, becoming a vintage housewife, the lifestyle itself as my all-consuming hobby, never at rest from the toil assigned to me?

But what if all of this, though theoretically virtuous in deed, is not what God wants from me at all?

This is where I found myself soon after New Year’s Day 2025. My life was a heap of mess after attempting to run it myself. I was convinced in my own mind I was glorifying God, when in fact, God was not really a big part of it.

I thought being a godly woman meant keeping the house spic-and-span, kids delivered the proper hygiene and all in line, and me going about in capris and high heels. But God revealed to me that pursuing loyalty to all of these other identities was not what I was called to do.

Loving God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength is the way in which He imbued me with the spirit of integrity. I feel as though Christ took a hold of me, asked me if I was willing to put these other loyalties further down on my priority list. In my broken state, eager for a new direction in my life, I agreed. As a result, I am “all in,” with no regret lowering the significance of these other important obligations in my life.

When I sit on my bed in worship of God, it is unlike anything I’ve encountered in my twenty-plus years of following Christ. Experiencing what it’s like to be fully devoted to God, which I did not experience prior to this year, has brought me so much peace. It has provided me a spirit of surrender and submission to His will in my life. I came to realize there was and is no other identity as important as the one that declares me a child of God. As a result, I would gladly sit in His presence for eternity, glorifying Him alone.

My previous walk with Christ pales in comparison to the woman I am now. I am completely unafraid, at rest, and safe. Like a bird in my Creator’s hands, I am assured that as long as my loyalty to Him alone reigns over all others, that life will be good for me. Because I know God is in it, always has been, and will be forever.

Prayer:

Lord God, I am in awe of just how loyal You are to me and the rest of Your creation. Your omnipresence proves the vastness of Your love for everything You created. I could not imagine how my life would turn out if You were not there, pulling me out of every pit, dragging me into a place of rest and safety by Your strong right hand. I thank You for Your unconditional, undivided loyalty to me. Though I am lesser than You in beauty and majesty, I’ve never felt more loved, seen and heard.

Please teach me to be as loyal to You as You are to me. Show me how to keep my loyalty to You as undivided as possible. I pray that I would be able to demonstrate to those I love a devotion that is pure and genuine, but also that I would never allow anyone or anything to come between You and I. May our bond grow stronger everyday.

Your will be done, Amen.