Becoming New in Christ

EASTER SUNDAY

And he who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’
Also he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'”
–Revelation 21:5

Today marks exactly twenty-one years since I first submitted myself to Christ, and decided to follow Him.

I had just seen The Passion of the Christ for the second time, and I was with my now husband’s family on the east side of the state. That same day, I had had the crux of the gospel explained to me by his stepmother. Later that night, I had also found out we had shared a similar experience during the viewing of the film.

As I had watched the movie that Holy Saturday, I was struck by the presence of what I would later be told were red “stigmata” on the screen as I was in the theater. I thought it was unusual, but as someone who was not particularly religious, I did not realize its significance at the time. I left the theater with guilt bearing down on me. As I sat in the car waiting to leave, the question came up that had longed plagued me: “What is wrong with me?” Still not understanding and not having received the answers I wanted, the day proceeded as expected.

Later that night, we all gathered to talk after dinner, and ended up discussing the movie from that day. His stepmother had noted that as she watched the movie, she had seen the red stigmata on the screen. I felt shocked as I replied, “You saw that too?” In that moment, I was flooded with a knowing, a realization that God was speaking to me. Through the movie. Through the visions of the stigmata. Through His words in the film.

There is a scene in that movie where Mary, while watching him carry the cross, and fall under its weight, remembers Jesus falling on his knees as a child. So, as any mother would, she runs to him, hoping to rescue him from his current pain and suffering. But, Jesus says to her, “You see, Mother, I am making all things new.” Then He rises to His feet again, and continues the journey to Golgotha Hill.

The thought of renewal in Christ up to that point had not really crossed my mind. That is, that the reason I was alive, was because of God’s love. That it was the finished work of Christ on the cross that healed me from metastatic breast cancer. That it was all because of God, through Jesus, the true exemplification of what love is and looks like, that I had everything I could need. And that night, as I settled in for bed, I remember staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, and feeling an overwhelming sense of peace and joy, a sensation that took over six weeks to abate.

I have struggled a lot with my faith in God over the past twenty-one years. My walk with God looks a lot like the way the ocean water meanders on the seashore, coming in with the tides, and then pulling away from dry land. Like driftwood on these moving waters, I have had seasons where I feel extremely close to the Lord, as though He were just a split-second away from my awareness. And yet I’ve felt so distant at times, as though I were a star on the edge of the universe, and my Father was all the way on the other side of it.

Although I have periods in my life where renewal is slow, there are others where changes are happening so fast it is head-spinning. Through all of this, I appreciate the fact that God is watching over me, and is orchestrating the process of my re-creation. Every day, no matter what is going on, I can be assured that God is doing something new in my life, and that if my eyes were open, I could see what it was he was doing. But even if God has not opened my eyes so that I could see clearly what it is that he is doing, I know that behind the scenes, God is restoring me from the inside out. He is making me a new creation. He is restoring my health, my life, my relationships. He is conforming me to the image of God more everyday, as long as I abide in His love. As a child of God, I will always be ready for whatever He desires me to do, and be prepared to be made new every morning. And all He wants from me is to have faith in Him. And so I say, Amen, Lord. I am happy to trust in You and surrender everything to Your will.

Happy Easter everyone!

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