“You have taken away my companions and loved ones. Darkness is my closest friend.”

-Psalm 88:18 NLT

I went through an extremely emotional time in my life when a third of my immediate family left home, all at once. About one month shy of the 19-year anniversary mark, my husband came to me, saying he needed space, and a few months later confessed he wanted a divorce. My oldest kid, who was 18 at the time, left on the same day that his father left. He was picked up by strangers in an unknown car, and I cried as they drove away with him in the backseat.

This had not been the first traumatic time that I had lost someone close to me. As mentioned earlier in the book, I have lost a lot of people in my life, including my mother, my father, two of my cousins, all four grandparents, two of whom died three days apart; two good friends that I hung out with in one of the places I grew up, not to mention a good friend I’ve known since high school that died just recently. It’s been heartbreaking to deal with so much death in my life, and even at one point, to recognize my own life was at stake. Death has surrounded me for quite some time, but has yet to overtake me.

As Thanksgiving draws near, I am also drawn to consider what I am grateful for in my life. While many people have been taken from me in various forms, whether by death or strife, I have received much in return since the initial days when I was a witness to my husband and oldest kid leaving the home for an uncertain future. There have been moments in my past where I had prayed fervently for God to bring people (back) into my life, and He heard my prayer. But, for whatever reason, all my prayers have not been answered. But I am slowly learning that God has a plan for me, and if He removes someone from my life, I believe He will be replacing that person with someone or something else that will outrank the prior in tremendous ways.

It has been said that when God closes a door, He opens another one. I’ve also noticed that when I remove lots of items from my home, something that is more useful or practical often comes in to take its place. I see my life in a similar way, as though the opportunity for new things to enter my life is present. I am eager to see what opportunities come knocking at the door that is waiting to be opened, at just the right time.

After Job had lost his children and property, he is quoted as saying, “The Lord gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away. Praise the name of the LORD.” (Job 1:21b-c) I agree that no matter whether I am given much by God or whether he chooses to take people and things out of my life, He never ceases to be my Creator, who loves and adores me as one of His very own.

And for that I am very thankful.

Prayer: Lord, I thank you that everything I have, whether people in my life, friends that I have, experiences that I have had, it all proceeds from Your hand. Whether we deem it good or bad, Your word declares that everything You created in this world was good (Genesis 1:4, 10b, 12c, 18b, 21b, 25b, 31a). Help me to remember this truth, and accept what I perceive as good and bad from Your hand (Job 2:10b). Teach me, also, Lord, to be grateful for all that I have and to cherish the people in my life, remembering that either death or strife may separate us from one another. I pray that I would remember those in my life are gifts from You, and to treat them well. Your will be done, Amen.

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