April 16, 2025

 

One of my goals on my website is to establish a routine whereby I post a minimum of once a week. Today is what I call “Writer’s Wednesday,” the opportunity built into the week where I always put up some content on my website, whether in the form of a blog-type essay, a devotional, a poem or story, or even a prayer. If I can start from this point, and not push myself too much, I may have a greater chance of success in the long run. In the future, though, my goal is to transition this post to something that looks more like a blog, a journal entry of sorts.

But today, I have a lot on my mind. What better time to post a prayer? I will be bluntly honest, I am afraid of my future. But I know also that God is in it, so any fears I have can be put to rest. They will come and go, but thankfully, God is the constant amid the chaos.

*******

Lord, God, I thank you for all that You have given me. A home, a happy dog, four children. And yet today, and recently, I have struggled to give thanks for the one person You have placed in my life and has been there for the past 25 years: my husband.

Lord, I have been struggling over the past year or more with understanding what is happening in my life. I have been struggling with the changes, asking You, Lord, “Why me?” And just like Job, I did ask these questions, and I continue to. The only difference is now, and as each day passes, I understand more and more to the answer to this question.

I thank you, Lord, that no matter what happens to me, that You have ordained it, or that You have allowed it to happen to me, in order that I might be a person stronger in spirit and in Christ. Lord, I thank You for the man You have put in my life, that You introduced me to twenty-five years ago. Thank you, Lord, for bringing him into my life as a friend, a relationship that quickly became romantic and long-lasting. Thank you, God, for the struggles I endured with him when we first were together, as a cancer survivor, and for using him to help me on the journey to healing. Thank you for using him to give me a home outside of my family, where I was liked and loved. Thank you, Father, for putting him in my life at that time, so that he could take me to the hospital, help inject me with medicine that I needed, and to pray by my bedside when I was at death’s door, and needed desperate care. Thank You for the love You shared with me through him, Father. His love for me, love You put in his heart, was unlike anything I had experienced up to that point, or since, from a human being.

Father, thank You for him, and for putting it on his heart to ask me to marry him. That one act, Lord, made me the happiest woman in the world. Though we struggled mightily during those early years, especially after we starting having children, You gave him a desire to sacrifice and endure during those moments, and used him to help me where it was needed. Father, I am so thankful that He was in my life when my mother died, and was as supportive as he could be at the time, given everything we had experienced that year, and despite his own personal struggles. Thank you, Lord, that You used him to show compassion on me, and care for me in a way that I thought I needed. Nobody could understand me in the same way he could, and I am thankful that You have given me a lifelong friend who understands and knows me inside and out, the good and bad parts of me, the side of me that is kind and loving, and the side of me that can be angry and resentful, or downright depressed. Thank You, Lord, that You entrusted him to watch over me during this rough period of my life. I would not be where I am today, without his love and support and at times, empathetic encouragement. Thank you, Lord, for this man, and for him being the father of our four children on earth, and one in heaven with You. You have chosen an amazing man, and given him extraordinary talents, and a brilliant mind. Thank you, Lord, that he is my husband and the father of our children. I well up in tears considering the blessings You have given to me through him. Thank You, Father, that You used him to show me mercy when I had no one to turn to. Thank You, Lord, that You used him to pay my debts, to help me raise the children without our parents around, and to be my friend when I felt nobody could possibly like being around me. Thank You, Lord, for all You have given to me through him. I pray that You bestow the greatest blessings possible on him, that You would call him by name, and draw him closer to You. Father, may he feel Your love in his heart, Your presence in his spirit, Your joy in his life. Father, thank you for my husband. He is a priceless gift to me, and I pray that I would never cease to give thanks for what You have granted to me through him.

Your will be done, Father, and may he know the true grace You offer him through your love and salvation.

Thank You, Lord. Amen.

*******

April 23, 2025

My latest story, Pink Vistas, recounts the story of someone who is struggling to reach the top of a mountain. I hope you enjoy!

*******